Monday, June 25, 2012
The Pioneer - Dilli Billi -June.24.2012 -A LIFESTYLE DISEASE CALLED DIVORCE"
The young generation today lacks patience and tolerance. Even the slightest excuse is enough for them to leave their spouse and start afresh In the last six months I have come across at least six families who are in the middle of divorces. As far as I know, there doesn’t appear to be any reason for the same. It is extremely sad and worrisome to see families break-up. After all, divorce doesn’t just affect the couple involved, it involves all the members in the family — be it the girl’s side or the boy’s family. Since they are friends, I was a part of the tales they had to narrate about their spouses and the reason for the divorce. What shocked me was how the couples had no patience or the tolerance towards each other.During our time, the young girls were taught to have patience and have the ability to forget and forgive. We were taught to be generous and make adjustments. Today, the younger generation lacks these qualities. There is so much pressure and rush for everything that patience is no longer a virtue. When I was younger my parents never encouraged any complaints that I had against my in-laws. I was told firmly that I had to do whatever it took to adjust with them and make a place for myself. I was told that I had to work hard to win the trust, faith and love of my new family. It was only under the worst possible situation that young girls were allowed to complain against the in-laws. Then also it was supposed to be understated. After marriage we had to do whatever possible to be a part of the new family.Though we were not financially independent as the girl’s today, we had more patience. Life moved at a much slower pace and the word divorce was a taboo. Wife-beating was the only reason for divorce. Many women of my age stuck through extremely bad marriages even though there was no compatibility, security and bad behaviour from the in-laws. The love for the children was enough to compromise and honour the marriage bond. Many couples I have known lived in separate rooms for years just for the sake of the children.Today, the girls want more from a marriage. Men need to know that women are no longer doormats. Hence, divorces on frivolous and trivial matters. One hears how a couple divorced over an argument on whether to cook in a pressure cooker or not. Stingy behaviour of the husband is also a reason for divorce today.Recently, a couple in Mumbai divorced each other on the grounds that they didn’t speak the same language. Wonder why they didn’t think of it before they got married. Some men seek divorce on the grounds that the wife can’t cook as well as his mother. Stress and fast paced lifestyle is making couples intolerant towards each other. Intolerance and selfishness are the main reason for divorce today.The couples are unable to take the ups and downs that come in a marriage. The attitude of giving has vanished. The vows couple take during the ceremony have become meaningless. Moral values have taken a beating. It is sad that nobody wants to live a simple life. For such people, a marriage followed by a divorce is like a career change. It didn’t work, so they looked for an alternative. The sad part is it is the children who end up paying a price.