Wednesday, October 31, 2012

The Pioneer-Dilli Billi-28th.Oct.2012-"PARENTS TO BLAME FOR AGGRESSION IN KIDS"

Siblings fighting on petty issues has become common place. The language used and the physical fights shows that being offensive has become a way of life for them.

Last week, I visited my cousin who has two sons aged five and nine. Looking at them, I realised that children today are so different from the children of yesteryear. My first impression of the two boys — there was no shyness or awkwardness and they knew what they wanted. The two were fighting with each other over a video game. The fight was aggressive and the words they were using were not very kind to anyone’s ears. I was a bit taken a back with this kind of bad behaviour.

At the end of the evening, I realised that this generation is being brought up in an environment where there is terror, violence and aggression. It is possible that they are picking up the vibes from around them. After all terrorism and violence is so much in our face. We switch on the TV and all one hears is news about rapes, murders, thefts and acts of terror. Pick up magazines and newspapers, the headlines scream of killings and violence. One watches movies for entertainment but they, too, are so full of violence.

In such a situation, how can we blame our children for being aggressive? In schools, they have to fight in sports; competition is at its peak when it comes to marks and on top of that they have to compete on who has the best of things. The children today want all the luxuries and comforts. Not that there is any harm but they need to understand that whatever comfort they are getting is because of their parents’ hard work. The children can’t demand things as if the world owes it to them. But they are impatient and in a hurry. They don’t want to work for the comforts they want. They prefer if it was provided to them.

But my generation struggled and we are at this stage because we worked hard for it. Today’s generation wants everything ‘now’. And it is this ‘now’ that is channelised into aggression and sometimes makes them take to crime. It is sad that teenagers today are taking to a life of crime so that they can ‘enjoy life now’. It is not about roti-kapda but motorcycles, latest mobiles and money to spend in night clubs to relax and chill.

Alcohol and drugs are a common phenomenon. They bully their parents into giving them expensive things and make it sound as if they are doing a favour by taking the gifts from the parents.

The abduction and murder of a five-year-old by a 19-year-old in Pune is a case in point. The toddler was kidnapped because the 19-year-old had wanted money to buy a bike.

And a majority of the blame lies with the parents. There is lack of communication and no understanding between the child and the parent. And this different is due to values given, the way a child is brought up and exposure.

It is unfortunate that our surroundings and exposure have made our new generation irresponsible and frustrated. It is impossible to reason with them. Teenagers want to wear designer clothes and drive swanky superfast cars. All this can’t be just due to peer pressure. A lot, in my opinion, has got to do with showing off. It’s a shame how they insult their parents by calling ‘values’ old fashioned and not giving in to their demands as ‘stingy’ and ‘selfish’.

It’s high time we did an introspection and made changes in how we are bringing up our children. We need to be strict and less giving however guilty we may feel that we are not providing for our children.

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